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I left my husband for another man... i dont know what to do?

To Sign Up for free, please click here Ask our community of thousands of members your health questions, and learn from others experiences. Join the conversation! Health Board's Privacy Policy. There was a problem adding your email Try again. All rights reserved. Do not copy or redistribute in any form! Subscribe To Relationship Health. I left my husband after 25 years.

The reasons are many, we've had some trouble for the last I reconnected with an old male best friend and unfortunately, had an affair. The affair is still ongoing and he wants to marry me, says I've always been the love of his life. He's never married.

My Story -- Marriage and Divorce

I thought that this is what I wanted. Now I am so racked with guilt over completely destroying my husband. He lost his job and cannot make the house payment.

i left my husband

I am paying all the bills for both the house and my apartment. He is so crushed he cannot get out of bed. I've heard that I can't be responsible for someone else's happiness but I cannot help but feel like complete trash over this. If I had just stayed and sacrificed my own happiness none of this would be happening. I am teetering on going back to him. He says he will do anything to have me back.FAQ on Coronavirus and Mefi : check before posting, cite sources; how to block content by tags.

Left my husband, dumped by my affair partner, how to carry on? So I did it, I moved out, I left my husband. I moved out about a month ago. I made the decision to move out while my friend wasn't talking to me, so it wasn't prompted by the idea that I'd jump straight into a relationship with him, although I admit it's something I've always wanted.

Right before I moved out which was a month ago my friend got back in touch with me and we ended up having sex again. I think he's seeing someone else. This is causing me intense pain. I feel worthless, bleak, awful. Moving out has been really tough, I miss my own home and my old life so much, and everything seems so bleak.

The only things that seem to help distract me are watching TV series, sleeping, and going to work. I had a therapist for a year but she just had to stop seeing clients for family issues, and I miss her so much. What can I do to get through the days and move forward?

i left my husband

Filling time alone is the hardest part of being single. TV, reading, exercise, and cooking have all worked for me in the past. Establishing post work routines that involve one or more of the above are also really helpful. The first thing I would say is to take a holiday.

Get some sun and some rest - and some space! Read some good books and try to relax a little. See how things go from there. I am assuming that you have engaged the question of whether this is all a massive effort at self-sabotage, haven't you? Feeling unlovable for many years, suddenly this guy loves you, maybe you do not know how to accept it.

Maybe you're not attracted to him husband because there must be something wrong with HIM if he doesn't see how wrong YOU are. Maybe you feel trapped by his unwavering commitment to you and unconditional love so there is nothing there for your underlying pain to latch onto. That, combined with a case of Fear of Missing Out, could explain your circumstances, including ambivalence about leaving.By: Leslie Cane: Most of the time, I hear from wives who are trying to save their marriages because their husband wants a divorce, separation, or break.

But occasionally, I hear from wives who were the ones who initiated the separation and they now very much regret that decision. I had been falling for an old flame I reconnected with on Facebook and I wanted to explore that relationship without worrying about my husband and my marriage. So I told my husband I was going to stay with friends for a while and clear my head. In actuality, I was staying with the Facebook guy for much of the time.

At first, it seemed idyllic. It seemed like we picked up right where we left off. I felt alive and free and I liked that feeling. I feel just awful. He has always been there for me and he would never do something like this to me. I now regret leaving and separating from him. But I have no idea if he feels the same way.

What in the world can I do now? Whatever the case, your initial goal should be to minimize the other person as much as you possibly can while understanding that the truth is going to have to come out eventually although I suggest the least painful version of the truth. Getting him back may well be difficult enough. Try to keep his attention focused on the present and the future and not the past. Granted, this realization made her want her husband even more. So you want to do a lot of soul-searching about why you want to come back and why you want him to take you back.

Because your sincerity is often most more apparent to him than you might have realized. You need to define what you love about your husband and why he is worth fighting for. Because he is going to know, and feel, and react to the difference.

This is rarely the case and when it is, the husbands often have doubts deep down. He is often coming to the table with his own pain, hurt pride, and questions. Wives who approach this with love, patience, and integrity often get much better results than the wives who want everything in the beginning before they have earned it back.

Understand that you are going to have to work hard to restore his faith and trust and you will also need to address the problems that lead to your leaving in the first place. In my own situation, my husband left me so our story happened in reverse.Sometimes the charm of a narcissist inhibits your client from seeing the narcissism. When your client first met their spouse, there was something about them that was enticing.

It seemed like an irresistible pull to someone who so perfectly matched their needs and wants. However, the fairy tale engagement and marriage came to an abrupt halt the day they walked down the aisle. So desperate to return back to the fairy tale, they became whatever the narcissist demanded. But it was not enough.

The more your client acquiesce, the more ultimatums surface. Could they be narcissistic? What does a narcissistic spouse even look like? Here are some signals to discuss with your clients. Does the narcissist…. Once the spouse is identified as a narcissist, help your client to understand the disorder. This is not a situation where they can go at it alone.

They will need your perspective as a third party to assist in handling their spouse. Christine is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor by the State of Florida with over fifteen years of experience in counseling, teaching and ministry.

She works primarily with exhausted women and their families in conflict situations to ensure peaceful resolutions at home and in the workplace. She has blogs, articles, and newsletters designed to assist in meeting your needs. You can connect with her at her website Grow with Christine at www. Find help or get online counseling now. Psych Central Professional.

About the Blog. Does the narcissist… Expects you to meet their needs at all times? You are required to anticipate what, how, and when they need admiration and adoration. Projects their negative characteristics onto you? They say you are needy, never satisfied, ungrateful for all they do and have unreasonable expectations. Yet your friends and family have not verbalized any such complaints about you. Get jealous of anyone or thing that has your attention over them?

This includes children, pets, friends, family, and occupation.I feel so guilty for leaving my marriage. My husband is a really, really nice guy. He is a great dad, loves me a lot, has a good career. There was nothing really wrong with our marriage. Now, our divorce is almost finalized, and we have all been so devastated — especially our kids. Now they have to schlep back and forth between two homes, go through the pain of having divorced parents, my ex is devastated, his parents and our friends are devastated, and we are both poorer having to support two homes.

Of course I am very sad about all of this, but I just could not be married to him any more.

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I stopped being sexually attracted to him years ago, even though he is still a very handsome and fit man. These are men who jibe with my own growing social circle of equally driven and creative people — people who my husband never really connected with or felt comfortable around even though, in all his decency and devotion to me, was always kind to and made an effort for. I don't have any commitment to any of these men, but simply feeling that way around them made me realize that by staying in my marriage.

I am missing out on something I deeply crave and long to nurture. Now, on the other side of my marriage, I see that I may not ever find that kind of romantic connection that I crave, and I may be lonely.

Leaving An Abusive Husband

I see those I love most suffering because of this decision, and I am left feeling selfish, guilty and all-around rotten. Can't decide whether or not to leave him? Struggling with horrible guilt after filing for divorce? Consider online therapy platforms. Choose from thousands of licensed and certified counselors for yourself or your teen they also have couples counseling. I have heard many similar stories, all of which resonate on some level. I am glad I am not married to my ex, even if he is a good guy.

Lots and lots of reasons, including some mentioned above by my emailer. But there are times when we are getting along, when we are chatting like old friends at the kids' T-ball game, the kids are exhausted from schlepping back and forth between our apartments, I remember all his good qualities and all the benefits of marriage, and I think:. Can't we just be adults and make it work?

Can't we just agree not to fight any more? Then he will blame me for my kid tripping in the hallway of my apartment and getting a bloody boo-boo on his head, or cancel a visit with the kids last-minute because he wants to see a concert and all those cozy notions are thrown out the window quicker than a Las Vegas divorce. Maybe it means I'm selfish. Maybe it means I can't control my anger. Maybe it means I am an indulgent adolescent artist, but I don't want to be married to my ex-husband so I am not married to my ex-husband.

Also: I just don't want to be married to him. All these feelings are totally normal, even if they are conflicting. Sit with them all, and feel them all.The day had come. I'd lasted as long as I could in my marriage. Once my husband, Bill, left for work, I packed a bag for myself and our month-old son and left our home.

It was the only year in our married life when we lived in the same town as my parents. Obviously the convenience of being able to run to Mom and Dad made my decision to leave Bill easier.

With a tear-stained, angry face, I walked into Mom's kitchen. She held the baby while I sobbed my declaration of independence. After washing my face and sipping a cup of coffee, Mom told me she and Dad would help me.

They'd be there for me, which brought me great comfort. Mom put down my sleeping son, took a pen and sheet of paper, and drew a vertical line down the middle of the page. She told me to list in the left column all the things Bill did that made him impossible to live with. As I looked at the dividing line, I thought she'd then tell me to list all his good qualities on the right-hand side.

I was determined to have a longer list of bad qualities on the left. This is going to be easy, I thought. I started immediately to scribble down the left column. Bill never picked his clothes off the floor. He never told me when he was going outside. He slept in church. He had embarrassing, nasty habits such as blowing his nose or belching at the dinner table. He never bought me nice presents. He refused to match his clothes.

He was tight with money. He wouldn't help with the housework. He didn't talk with me. The list went on and on, until I'd filled the page. I certainly had more than enough evidence to prove that no woman would be able to live with this man. Smugly I said, "Now I guess you're going to ask me to list all Bill's good qualities on the right side. Instead, for each item on the left side, I want you to write how you respond.

i left my husband

What do you do? This was even tougher. I'd been thinking about Bill's few, good qualities I could list. I hadn't considered thinking about myself. I knew Mom wasn't going to let me get by without completing her assignment.

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So I had to start writing. I'd pout, cry, and get angry. I'd be embarrassed to be with him. I'd act like a "martyr. I'd give him the silent treatment. I'd feel I was too good for him.Report Abuse. Contact Us. Diabetes Type 1 Type 2 Prevention. Trending Coronavirus. By subscribing, you agree to the Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. Relationships Community. I left my husband for another man I left my ex-husband,together for 7 years and married for 3 years, for another man.

We have 1 child together and we worked at the same place, but in different areas, i fell in love with one of my co-workers and left my ex-husband for him.

Me and my ex-husband had alot of problems, he never beat on me or our kid, but never showed any kind of emotion towards me like i needed, only when he wanted something. Sex was only when he felt like it. And never pationate sex, just quicky sex. He had a gambling problem and its only gotten worse. I tried talking to him about how i felt and he never cared.

He always brushed me off. He treated me like a child. I guess because i met him when i was 14 and started dating when i was Dont get me wrong we had fun and life was good for a little while. But i started to hate him, we always faught, i never was right in his eyes, and he always made me feel like dirt.

i left my husband

I met someone that had the same dreams i did and was very pationate and all that good stuff So i left my ex-husband, and it was a horrbile divorce.


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